this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The best ones are thoughts that many people can relate to and they find something funny or interesting in regular stuff.

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Right now there is a loneliness epidemic throughout the world. More and more people aren't entering relationships. Gen Z men are having significant trouble dating while there are some economic factors in the mix. From my own view and experiences combined with what I've read most Gen Z men are lack the social and communication skills to even enter a relationship. This has and in the future will lead to extreme issues. There's already been a marked rise in hostility towards women by young men (think Andrew Tate and his ilk) that's likely born out of this frustration. I would definitely say there's been a rise in gender hostility ever since the pandemic.

Back in the 50s there was arranged marriages. All a person had to do was just show but now that's gone because it was an unequal system and I think society missed its chance to establish something much healthier and better in its wake. Now we have people that are unable to connect with each other. We just toss people blindly into the mess that is human interaction and relationships and no one knows what to do anymore. We could be have the most fulfilling relationships humans have ever had. Think of the amount of people who would of never have entered abusive relationships had there been someone around them that showed them what love exactly is.

The way we teach is so heavily focused on teaching people how to be worker drones that we forget the human part of the person. This is why a lot of people who do extreme well in school and college fare so poorly in relationships and have higher rates of depression. We are the most educated and advanced in human history, we know psychology, we can teach this shit rather than tossing people blindly into the meat grinder.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Possibly. How about the reality that people are simply not interacting in person but online. I can't believe this is not the first post.

Seriously go out to a bar, a music festival, volunteer, hell get drunk a few times and loosen up. In the 70, 80, 90 right up till 2000 this was every weekend. Hell it is not some work drone thing. That is an excuse. Work later in life is where you actually might meet some friends and from there have drinks after work and maybe that results in a random meeting with some ladies or men in your life.

School won't teach this. Life skills need practice not exams.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

While true, only one of those things you listed don’t require money, and tbh even volunteering is hard when you have to work 2-3 jobs to get by.

Kids and adults these days don’t have 3rd places to just relax and hang out anymore. The internet is arguably the cheapest way to hang out.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sorry but our parents worked more than us and their parents worked more then them. Few people I know work weekends or don't get two days a week off. Your parents worked normal 8 hours day then they went home and worked on their cars and houses and basically did another 4 hours a day doing of jobs. Their parents went one step further and built their own houses often or helped build them and grew alot of their own food.

We might work similar or more formal hours but we work far less informal hours that at any period in history. So that does not hold much water to me.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

This is only true of certain segments of the working class, mainly the white collar workers located in Western countries. As we see wealth inequality increase globally, I don’t think it’s fair to say every single person is working less.

Also legality aside, kids generally don’t have money to go to bars, restaurants, or music festivals.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If course not every single person is working less but overall we are all working less. Quite a bit less.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This is not true actually. There was a miss-interpreted study that calculated a lower average in working hours but that was because they didn't consider that many women work part-time. Which lowered the average working hours.

When you look at households, though, the number of working hours is much higher. And that does have an influence.

I am an older person and I can still remember that my mother organised all social occasions of our family. We had big family gatherings regularly, coffee and cake every Sunday, activities in the local community and at schools, etc. This was all organised by the women who did not have jobs. Who is supposed to do all this today?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Rewrite it for someone who doesn't drink.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

You don't drink? Just eat food. I joke a bit but I know many people that go to bars just for the music and social and a coke.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Seriously go out to a bar, a music festival, volunteer, hell get drunk

As a non-drinker I find it interesting that 2 out of these 3 things require the use of a drug. (Yes I know, you can order water at bars, but I doubt that was the point of that statement.)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Okay first of all, how many activities am I holding up?

Seriously go out to a bar, a music festival, volunteer, hell get drunk

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You have to have alcohol to go to a bar?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Technically not, but it would feel a bit like a 'socially taboo' to not drink

Idk I'd at least put it as slightly awkward, like going to a bowling alley and not bowl, sure you can be social, but it's weird to not join in

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Think you need to get out more. Few people bat an eye if you don't drink alcohol in a bar. Lots go for the music alone is it is a live band. It just some wings after work.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Never said anyone would confront you about it. I'm also with you, live music is different, but that's not something I have seen much at bars where I'm from