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I'm a penguin who was captured by human researches in Antarctica, but I was able to escape and then I got in touch with my penguin friends and leaders to raid the researchers facilities. Now the human facilities are under Penguin control, so we can use humans communication media like the Internet. Anything more you are interested in?
Yes. How do you use touchscreens when your flippers are so cold?
It was very hard at first, we used to slap many times and hard enough touchscreens, but this turned out to be unreliable. Then, we developed special penguin gloves that heat themselves so we can use touchscreen almost seamlessly.
Did you happen to meet four Japanese girls?