this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2024
852 points (98.7% liked)

Political Memes

5405 readers
3973 users here now

Welcome to politcal memes!

These are our rules:

Be civilJokes are okay, but don’t intentionally harass or disturb any member of our community. Sexism, racism and bigotry are not allowed. Good faith argumentation only. No posts discouraging people to vote or shaming people for voting.

No misinformationDon’t post any intentional misinformation. When asked by mods, provide sources for any claims you make.

Posts should be memesRandom pictures do not qualify as memes. Relevance to politics is required.

No bots, spam or self-promotionFollow instance rules, ask for your bot to be allowed on this community.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh yes, the part in the Bible where Jesus looks at the poor and goes "kys lol"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Modern-Day Jesus:

So the beggar at the red light began shouting, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

"Be quiet!" the people in the vehicle behind yelled at him.

But he only shouted louder, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"

When Jesus heard him, he rolled down his window and ordered that the man come near. Jesus asked him, "What do you want me to do for you?"

"Lord," he said, "My only want is for enough coin to eat for today!"

And Jesus said, "If I were to give you coin, surely you would instead use it instead for drugs and alcohol. I shall not grant you this desire. Instead I shall speak unto the land that all shall know of your wicked ways and none will grant you coin again."

Instantly the man cried out, "If you were not to grant me this, Lord, please allow me to pass on from this world onto hell, for truly I am already living there."

And Jesus said, "I do not know the ways of my Father, but surely I know this: Your fate would not have fallen upon you had you followed Jesus, praising God. You have made this bed, and now it is time for you to lay in it."

And the light changed to green, and Jesus sped away. In the din, the beggar could not explain that he was born a disciple and had praised God since taking his first breath. And the people in the vehicle behind who saw it drove past and said, "Get a job", and praised God this fate would surely never befall them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

And the light changed to green, and Jesus sped away in his cybertruck.

FTFY

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

In truth, that Jesus sounds sus.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Yeah he spoke about himself in third person. Maybe he was high.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I'm case anyone doesn't know the origin of the phrase, "you made your bed, lie in it:" Procrustes