Ask Lemmy

I've always felt like a lot of the assumptions in Fermi's Great Filter feels off. Like, the way we talk about "intelligent life" feels iffy, both in astrophysics and other fields. I'm not great at articulating this, but if you're one for video essays, Dr Fatima Abdurrahman recently made a video that captured much of what I'd struggled to say on this. (https://youtu.be/_tw0aqmnmaw)

Oh wait you mean forward up between the lips? Yeah but not like into the vagina, it gets up into the hair like you said and disperses from there. Also for some reason I wanna say those ones don't really smell much even. It's those hot little ones that do that but I think that happens to guys too, idk tho you tell me.

Yes, this is true.

I've heard these referred to as "exiting through the gift shop"

Lost is a bit strong, it goes exploring and is politely but firmly removed by the kegal Captains.

I've always been told the best thing to do is stick to complimenting things that are their choices.

Not great: That outfit makes you look good!

It's you coming off as being interested in their physical appearance, not the outfit.

Better: That's an awesome T-shirt! Where did you find that?

It's you thinking they picked out something cool or stylish and you like their taste in outfits. You're putting the attention on something they did, not anything about them appearance-wise.

Especially if they don't know you, odds are they have no desire to hear a stranger's opinion on their looks. That's too personal. But a stranger agreeing with their decision on something like buying something cool generally isn't.

Of course, some people are more or less open to any conversation with someone they don't know, so if you still get ignored or get looked at like a creep, you don't know their background and you respect that and don't persist.

A good rule to go by is if you're a guy, think of a guy coming up to you and saying the same thing or you saying what you're going to say to another guy. If you wouldn't tell another bro that he looks good wearing that, maybe don't do that to a girl. If you see a guy wearing a band shirt of a group you like though, you'd probably be ok saying "whoa, I love that band too!" or you'd be cool with some random dude telling you the same.

You shouldn't be afraid to talk to people, but you should always be respectful and keep in mind how well you know them and keep conversation at that level of appropriateness.

1. You can't always expect it, especially if you have some kind of reproductive disorder like endometriosis, PCOS, etc. This results in massive simultaneous messes of both bloody clothing and wasted, un-bloodied period products, and is colloquially known as "hell." It is often preventable (but also often caused) with/by hormonal birth control.

2. If you spend some time really getting in touch with your bodily sensations and logging all of them in relation to your cycle, you can often start to notice things like mood swings, increased acne, bloating, headaches, cramping, and other common pre-menstrual symptoms. My whole vulva would ache. My whole inner lips, outer lips, taint, everything just felt like it was bruised, then next day, blood!

3. You start by wearing your least favorite underwear. All women have a ranking of underwear from cutest / sexiest to period-est for this exact reason. This exactly what you keep the dingy ones around for. It usually starts small, also called "spotting." So you'll just go to pee, see a little smear or dot of blood, and start using products from there.

4. Sometimes you can feel it just drop out feeling exactly like one of those vagina goo sharts. In fact, you're usually hoping it's a vagina goo shart because you can just wipe that out with toilet paper and move on with your day. It's not gonna soak through and stain three layers of clothing like blood would. Enough of it left sitting on the fabric for long enough (like, weeks) would bleach the fabric but blood is a pain in the ass if it's not a fabric you can just soak in H2O2.

I'm also an RN with a fair amount of experience in sexual health if you have any more period or reproductive health questions! Only thing I'm not good at is obstetrics (pregnancy), but everything that happens before that I can explain in detail.

I've never used a cup before, but I know for certain, you can't really do that with tampons, because it would be way too dry and eugh, even imagining that is making me shudder. Most women who use tampons know how unpleasant it feels to pull out a dry tampon; I have to be careful near the end of my period not to use a tampon with too high an absorbency if I want to avoid this. I may switch to pads near the end.

Periods can come without warning though. Some people have a super low flow early on, so they might get more warning (if they go pee and there's a lil blood when they wipe), but also sometimes it's heaviest at the start, which is why many women have embarrassing stories of their period taking them off guard and bleeding through their clothing onto a chair or something. Someone might wear pads if they're expecting their period - you can get lighter absorbency pads that might suit this better. Older women might wear pads like this at other times - my mum occasionally pees a little if she sneezes too hard, so she wears lightweight pads at other times of the month.

It's easier if you can predict when your period will be. I've never had a regular cycle, and I thought the whole "my period is 2 days late and I'm anxious that this might mean I'm pregnant" thing only happened in movies until a friend anxiously messaged me about it. Turns out some people do have that level of regularity - I might actually ask my super regular friend what she does when expecting her period, come to think of it. But yeah, for many people, it can't even be predicted to the day, or even the week.

Edit: reading other responses to your question made me think of amother point: even if you have irregular cycles, it can be possible to predict by various bodily signs. Something that I don't hear talked about much is how vaginal discharge changes over the menstrual cycle. When I'm ovulating, there tends to be more discharge, and it's slippery and clear, almost like egg whites in texture. At other times in my cycle, it might be more white coloured, or more creamy, or more sticky. I find it gross and fascinating in equal measure — sometimes I'll just stick a finger up there to check if I'm unsure where I am in my cycle

I promise a lot of men want this.

Freemasons also don't let atheists in. Was a hard pass from me at that point. I'm not faking belief in some deist creator god just to join in their weird rituals and bridge clubs.

No idea about the Freemasons but we do talk about you on the alternate lemmy.world server port... oh wait I wasn't supposed to mention that.

I truly hope you find someone mate.

Not a woman but I’m still gonna give you the only advice I can: never ever give up as that is the only option that has a guaranteed outcome. If you are as awesome in person as you seem, I’m both rooting for you and a believer in your future.

I'm a lesbian and my partner is also partially disabled. She manages her conditions but as far as we know, it's as good as it will get. (I have chronic issues too but I am typically mobile.)

We like to game together. We watch movies together. She also games with her friends and I go out and do other more physically demanding activities with my own friends. We like to discover new food and talk about politics.

We found that our sense of humor and morality aligns well and we enjoy each other's company. That and the fact that she was independent drew me to her.

Good luck out there.

First question: have you considered finding a woman in the same predicament? You'd have a lot in common and she'd understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't go to a support group with the intention of finding a date specifically, but honestly getting out and connecting with other people, or even just connecting online, could go a long way towards alleviating some of your loneliness.

Another facet I think is super important to mention here, a lot of people meet other people by being introduced by someone else. This is a big part of why it's so important to develop and do hobbies and pastimes and attend culturally unifying gatherings like religious ceremonies and festivals. While moving away from religion has had some benefits, we haven't really paid much attention to replacing it's social benefits, such as giving people a place to go on a regular schedule, which is one of the key factors in forming long-term bonds.

If you're asking if I would personally date you, I have no idea, I've never met you, you're probably not my partner's type, and I really don't go solo anymore these days. I will tell you what I told my partner about the "in sickness and in health" bit: I'm not going to be a primary day-to-day caregiver, there would need to be a home health aid 98% of the time and I would just pitch in if they weren't available or needed a hand. I also refuse to deal with any man who does not take an effective leading role in their own care. I've gotten sucked into too many fixer-upper men (only with mental illness thus far) and I'm not putting myself anywhere near that position ever again. I can't believe I got to the point in my life that I've had to add "calls own psychiatrist independently" to my list of criteria but here we are.

You might be able to meet someone in a MMORPG. If not the escapism of creating a character and exploring a new world could be appealing.

I'm a no touching person, and no amount of drunk will stop me from being a no touching person.

In my case it's because often even the slightest bit of humor or attention or willingness to play along with the bit gets me way more unwanted attention than I bargained for. If I respond like a person wanting to have a little fun with another person and it gets me treated like a thing they can now win and possess, the genuine human interaction has been tainted by the implication that it wasn't genuine, there was always a motive and, because I played along, I'm now not a person to be interacted with, I'm a thing to be owned. I'd rather just not do the thing if that's one of the possible outcomes. And yeah, that's why I tend to not go out anymore.

I can not answer why, but I've been told I do it too.

And wake up holding my junk a lot of the time.

A lot of the times it's definitely to reposition balls.

So sometimes not because it's comfortable per se (and it is), but because doing it avoids possible discomfort, I guess.

Also, morning wood. What's that about? What's the benefit of getting an erection when we wake up? O.o

Yeah, it's just secure and comfortable.

Balls aren't directly sexual, but holding onto them can be like rubbing your eyes, just kind of non-specifically pleasant.

I've never even heard of this before. My hands are typically near my head/shoulders when I wake up.

I think it's common, but not universal. I sleep on my side hugging a 2nd pillow. That's the most comfortable for me. When I wake up in a weird position, it's on my back with arms splayed out like a gunshot victim.

Ha I cup my man's pecs because they're there. I believe it may be the same reason men like to honk ours. Honk

Similar to how you can feel a sensual touch on your lips, nipples, or fingertips. There's a bunch of nerves there and if you're having a good time already and you're relaxed enough for it to not hurt, all that stimulation feels good. It also has the benefit of being right behind the vagina and the trailing tail ends of the internal clitoris, so they get stimulated a little too.

Additionally, if we're talking multiple penetration, when you have an object in the anus whether it's static or thrusting it stretches out the rectum and occupies space within the the pelvis. This means that when you go to insert an object into the vagina, there is less space in the pelvis for it to also expand out into. This means that the vagina will be tighter around the inserted object and as a result that object will feel larger than it otherwise would.

Even without any of that they say the brain is your biggest sex organ for a reason, some people can actually meditate themselves to orgasm (although there is some abdominal flexing iirc). Anal is a taboo at least to some extent in most places, and psychologically that's a cheap arousal button for an insane number of people.

Women have skene glands which develop from the same cells as the male prostate.