Asklemmy

fermented shrimp paste, pickled bird eyes chili, soy sauce, fresh mangoes and plain white rice. topped with a heaping pinch of msg.

Refried beans, rice, sirachcha, and too much mayo. Sometimes I eat it with bread like a sad sack sandwich.

Sourdough with chunky peanut butter, ground mustard, and aioli.

I ate frozen fish sticks when I was a kid. Just took em out of the freezer and gnawed on them.

idk how weird this is in terms of everything else in this thread, but peanut butter and pickles on toast is great

Omelet composed of >60% frozen vegetables and seasoned with soy sauce.

It doesn't hold itself together at all and it looks disgusting.

Variant on your dish: bake sweet potato, add cottage cheese and eat immediately. Add sweet or savory seasonings to taste. It's not something I'd bring to share, but it's definitely not something I'll hide. As far as quick and dirty meals, it's reasonably healthy, and probably not the worst suggestion for someone who struggles to cook for themselves.

Actual goblin food: canned black olives between two slices of bread, smush down to prevent them from rolling out.

rice and lentils. Bit to mundane for company.

Spicy lettuce hotdogs! Cook them meat sticks up however you want, wrap in lettuce, place in bun. Top with ketchup and habanero Tabasco.

An entire loaf of French bread from the super market and a sobe (at least back when sobe existed)

Scoop of peanut butter

I call it the cinco de mayo revenge: Laughing Cow cheese (it’s French) melted in a tortilla.

Spaghetti Amoré (~$15 Serves 4-6)

• 16oz Box of Spaghetti
• 1lb Ground Turkey
• 1 Can Cream Of Cheddar
• 1 Can Cream of Mushroom
• 1 Can Tomato Soup
• 8oz of Shredded Mozzarella
• Spices: salt, black pepper, poultry seasoning, onion powder, garlic powder, oregano

Start boiling your pasta water, salt the water. Meanwhile, in a skillet start cooking the ground turkey till pink is gone. Once cooked, start seasoning with above spices to taste until satisfied, then move skillet to back burner on lowest setting to keep warm.

Preheat oven to 375. Once pasta water is boiling, add spaghetti and cook per instruction until al dente. Drain pasta in a colander, then return to pot.

While pot and spaghetti are still hot, add ground turkey and 3 soup cans to the pot and stir spaghetti until soups are evenly incorporated.

Dump contents of pot into a 9x13" casserole dish, spread contents evenly in the dish, then top with mozzarella cheese.

Bake in the oven till cheese has melted (about 5-10 minutes)

Remove from oven and let cool on stove for 5 minutes. Use a spatula to cut a square and serve warm.

I'm not going to put a bowl of lentils and hot sauce in front of a guest.

Cut up tortillas, fry them with some salt, when crispy crack two or three eggs in there and scramble. I grew up eating it and while it is delicious I don't think I would serve it to guests.

Chips with ketchup (as a dip) and burned mozzarella in a pan, rolled up, and dipped in honey mustard.

Peanut butter, jelly, and Cheeto burrito.

Instant mashed potatoes with American cheese melted in, and a variety of seasonings, butter, toppings etc. It's a great, cheap way to make a bowl out of random leftovers, protein or whatever. But I wouldn't dare serve it to someone.

'quickadilla' I'll slap a tortilla on a cold pan, turn on the heat and build it right in the pan while it heats up with shredded cheese and left over meat. Takes 5 minutes and it's at least as good as Taco Bell, and actually warm and melted.

More of a meal I'd actually be willing to share, but not brag about because it's sort of a bastardization of cultures. But I'll often make a curry using Japanese curry blocks, and season chicken in a vaguely Indian style, then put it over rice. Really simple and delicious. I'm kind of proud of it but I wouldn't even know how to explain it to someone, much less actually serve it.

Mud

Cocoa powder, sugar, bit of cream. Mix until it’s gritty from sugar, it shouldn’t be too smooth. Extra delicious if some isn’t fully mixed and there are cocoa powder chunks. It could be a topping, or an ingredient in something delicious, but no - eat the whole bowl of sweet gritty chocolatey goodness straight up.

When I was pretty serious about powerlifting, I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a giant spoonful of peanut butter with a big glass of milk, and then go back to bed. I certainly wouldn't offer that to a guest.

Butter beans with olives. Cover it in oregano, some garlic, some chilli flakes, and then drizzle a tiny bit of soy sauce and plenty of olive oil over the top.

It's dumb, but it's so tasty, quick, and easy.

White bread with mustard, and those dried fried crisy onions sandwiched inside. Gets me through to next meal.

...so i grew up with what we called five-way in northern kentucky, and no, it's not cincinnati chili...

• spaghetti
• browned ground beef (or in my case since 1989, vegetarian substitute)
• diced onions (fresh / cold)
• dark red kidney beans (simmered / hot)
• grated cheddar cheese (annatto-colored)
• ketchup

...it's all layered up on a large plate in that order, bottom-to-top so the cheese melts nicely, cut into a grid pattern with a fork and knife, and then mixed together: i don't cook it often since moving out on my own thirty-five years ago but it so hits the spot when i do...

I don't do it often, but pasta with a cream of mushroom or clam chowder soup.

Maybe not too weird, but that's probably as weird as it gets.

Tamale pie- canned corn, chili (no beans bc blegh), canned tamales (really these are even optional despite the name of the dish), and Swiss cheese all melted together in ooey gooey goodness.

Also I love the raw dough from those biscuits in the can that pops

Just white bread with a slice of cheese and spiced ketchup.