I put stuff up my ass that doesn't even stop me aging
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
81 points (76.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43777 readers
1682 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Yes, probably. I also really enjoy the idea that you think that it being a suppository would factor in to the calculus at all, I think itβs really funny
Fellas, is it gay to put immortality up your ass?
The mildly homophobic nature of the question is hilarious. "Would you want to live forever if you also had to be a little bit gay????"
Itβs not even slightly gay to use a suppository either, it reminds me of the guys who think itβs gay to clean their ass because itβs gay to touch an asshole.
I donβt have anything against the straights. Iβm not a heterophobe β Iβm a real cool dude β but when those people talk about not washing their asses, itβs only natural for us to feel a little bit of heterophobia against their lifestyle.
Please don't lump us in with those people. That's not a "hetero" thing it's just a disgusting person thing.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
See, I'll go out on a limb and say it's not gay for a man to engage in prostate play. Even having sex with another man isn't necessarily gay!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Yeah, I'd be uncomfortable, but immortality is immortality.
Now, if the requirement was a daily barebacking by the ultra-rich engineering their cum to be the elixir of immortality, I'd be a little more conflicted.
load more comments
(1 replies)
What kind of horseshit twist is that? Are you literally 14, OP? "There's an immortality pill, but OH NOES π± it goes in your BUTT πππ!!!!" Have you considered writing for Black Mirror?
I'm taking it even if it's the size of a horsecock, regardless of which hole it goes in.
What we've learned from this exercise is that Baumgeist takes horse cock up the butt.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Who would say "no" to this??
The same kind of people who donβt wash their ass because they think it would make them gay.
load more comments
(2 replies)
People think suppository is a 4 letter word. "Oh put something in my colon for immortality?! Never!" Honestly the world would be best without that sort of thinking.
Conservatives
If subconscious fear of rectal insertions is what finally makes conservatism an evolutionary downside, so be it.
load more comments
(2 replies)
People that dont want to experience climate and societal collapse I guess
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Theres a lot of places I would gladly insert a lot of things if it stopped aging
Seems like a no brainier. You'd get used to taking it.
I bet with time you could just hold the pill flat on your hand, reach back and your asshole would gobble it up like a horse.
This wasnβt a sentence I was expecting to read in my entire life.
People say AI start hallucinating bizarre sentences is a problem, but I'm beginning to wonder if it simply gazed too deeply into the internet abyss.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Um hell yes. And if it were a suppository, we'd all quickly get used to some butthole time every morning
Even those of us who don't enjoy putting things up our butts eventually get used to doing it anyway. It's just another body part.
(Folks, if your butthole hurts, go to the doctor already. Hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and other butthole problems are quite treatable. Don't let them get worse.)
Who is going to reject this?
Yes.
Sign me up. Even if there's side effects like nausea or whatever. I'll do whatever it takes to stop my bones hurting more every year.
But what if it doesn't make you younger? So you'll still stay your current age, with all the chronic stuff you already have.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Can I give one to each of my dogs as well?
Yes and yes.
This is a definitely yes question. No other side effects? Sign me up!!
Sure. By mouth, by butt, by injection, by patch, whatever. Yes.
What kinda question is this? I already take plenty of pills daily, I would do much worse things to not age.
Only if the way of injection is a big cock
Hell yeah, even in suppository form, which isnt super convenient but worth it for the benefit There is so much I want to do!
load more comments
(1 replies)
That depends, does it prevent me from dying at a normal age? If so fuck that I don't wanna outlive everyone I know and care about. If it just keeps me looking and feeling young, then sign me tf up my guy.
load more comments
(3 replies)
If I take 2, would that stop aging for one day and then reverse for another? Because I'm gonna need about 20 years worth of those up my ass, stat!
Yes. Is the drug harvested from the brains of hyper intelligent whales from another planet? If so, then hell yes.
load more comments
(4 replies)
view more: next βΊ