RBWells

I just want to say that it's not frivolous or silly to need sex with your partner, you are not wrong to be distressed. It's a natural and normal thing to need in a romantic relationship.

Can't see the list but basing this on the comments - I have been enjoying the new Hard Quartet album and think you might like. Rock and roll, more or less.

Janelle Monae, any of the first 3 albums in particular, but all of hers flow well.

Run the Jewels, if they aren't already in your list. Second album, but again, any.

Absolutely love the new Fontaines DC album.

One and a little bit, and husband lived in Chile, so one degree removed person-wise.

Preacher, it's on Netflix now. So good.

Warrior, also I think on Netflix now.

Andor was crazy good too, and Scavenger's Reign.

Not sure about unrecognized, but those are great.

Hmm, yes if she does not masturbate I honestly think she might just not be that much into the physical pleasure, you may have to just take what you can get - even though you would be frustrated, she may not be. It's hard for me to imagine, too! But if she enjoys the closeness and seeing you get off, your expectations may be getting in the way.

Even if she gets frustrated, she will probably have to figure out herself what works. It's really good she is not faking, don't push her to the point she feels like that's the answer.

ETA: tight angle with her legs up if she is flexible, or kind of sideways so one of your legs is against her vulva (look up coital alignment technique) those positions with some amount of outside contact like that are very intense dual stimulation, and if you are yourself angled upward the tight angle with legs up will also hit those front areas inside where the nerves from the clitoris run upward.

What does she do when she is doing herself? And is she getting orgasm that way, and is she getting it with you in any way?

If she can do direct clitoral stimulation for herself, it's possible you are just too rough, a lot of guys are. But also possible that she's just wired so that direct contact is unpleasant.

It's hard to recommend without more information but I would suggest a tight angle face to face, that she might be able to sort of grind on you while fucking, to get some vulva stimulation and the inside feeling, that might push her over. Also maybe try playing with her boobs while she's on top.

Mostly I think you are on the right track with the mental angle - engaging the mind, find out what she thinks about and use that, give up your ideas about every woman being wired the same.

And Do Not Push her. Really listen to what she wants.

I do think some (maybe most) of it is luck/brain chemistry, I feel happy a lot as I get older. Part is just that deep appreciation I feel when I wake up and realize that instead of school I will go to a job that pays me. Having kids was stressful but absolutely did increase my enjoyment in life, my desire to live, if that makes sense. More good than bad by a large margin.

Good news is if you are 40-50 you are getting to that age too - news articles say it's like we sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor but I think bullshit because I can't slow down yet and still feel it, it has to be changing brain chemistry and perspective - happiness comes easier now and also fewer things irritate me, youth is an irritable time.

And I guess finally, I really do think luck plays a big part - not in outward circumstances (though obviously luck is very important there too, circumstances don't guarantee happiness) more in the ability to feel certain things. So my actual advice is to adjust perspective if you can, be grateful for the things you can, get physically active to the extent you can and take time to do pleasurable things because even if you are not wired to feel that rush of "happy" you may still be able to feel content and thankful and good.

Don't worry. I am built pretty straight up and down and nothing fits me either. I think that people with good fitting clothes are probably getting them tailored.

Could you wear a well fitted sports bra instead? Can you handle Merino wool fabric? The Branwyn Busty soft bra is so very nice and temperature regulating, I can wear it doing yardwork. Any other wool I absolutely cannot stand but the soft Merino knits can be very soothing feeling and they stay dry.

I'm a lady but once I went to Target for clothes and came back with 4 bottoms all the same dimensions but the sizes were 4, 5, 7 and 9. All of those were the same size somehow.

I am about the same height as my husband (5'9") and was about the same height as my ex too, but his ex was tiny, and I joke with him about it because his sons are shorter than him, tell him tall ladies make tall kids, he should have planned better!

So really I'm not even that tall, just taller than women's regular clothes are. At least they make them now, Gap and Madewell are both serious about tall sizes, the rise on those fits well, the inseam too long for me but that's an easier adjustment.

And yeah I feel bad for really short ladies too, if the petites are just shorter inseams that won't work either!

Yoga 4x a week (vinyasa)

Weightlifting, theoretically once a week but it's been so busy more like once a month lately.

Ride EBike to work, walk daily too.

Food, I don't track calories (history of disordered eating) but do try to eat pretty healthy and do have a garden. I'm in Florida and right now growing lettuces, spinach, mustard greens, butternut squash, jalapenos, fennel, broccoli, cauliflower. In the summer okra is the star here, love it, and also grew some watermelons, Stokes Purple sweet potatoes, and heat tolerant lettuce, mint and basil.

Game the system by having an unhappy childhood so being an adult is so much better? I enjoy being a grownup so much. What are you unhappy with? Were you happy as a kid and if so, what made you happy? I didn't like school, felt alienated and in general kids have no control over their own lives. So adulthood suits me much better.