chapotraphouse

Irish reunification

there will be more communists this year

The Biden cat is removed from the WH for attacking people.

There will be pictures of Trump's penis.

Biden falls and is actually hurt.

Zelensky is replaced.

Trump narrowly loses the general election, promises to run again.

A republican candidate for the house or state senate in one of the Dakotas will literally kill their opponent with a gun during a debate and get elected.

A truck full of uranium waste will disappear. The story will be covered by all news agencies for exactly one week and then never be mentioned again. In 2025, a dirty bomb will be set off by "Hamas" in a major population center.

An article will come out revealing that Biden's aides have secretly been testing his food because they're afraid of Kamala Harris poisoning him. This will not affect Kamala's approval rating in either direction.

Someone will be murdered by a white women for picking up litter in a Walmart parking lot because her wine friends told her that it was a secret way for pedophile crime rings to pass messages to eachother.

In that same town there will be a single article written about an underage prostitution ring being run by a bunch of retired state troopers for superbowl games. No one will read it.

There will be a massive civil war on twitter over whether or not black people need to "take a break so that we can focus on antisemitism right now."

Someone will leave cum on Rand Paul's desk in the senate.

Trump dies like a month or two before the election

This throws the trump/qanon base into chaos. Some dive deeper into their fantasies, trump isn't dead he faked his death so he could do covert ops and lead the white hats. Others lose their minds and accuse the deep state of assassinating him. There's isolated incidents of stochastic terrorism, but mostly his base is too cowardly and unorganized to do anything, plus they'd rather watch their shows than take any action, so nothing really happens except for a brief increase in funny/sad facebook screenshots.

All the chaos results in Biden being reelected.

Biden dies like the day after he's inaugurated.

Biden's new VP becomes president. Finally, we have the best woman for the job!

AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV -200

Political assassination anywhere in the world +180

Joe Biden dies +150

A VP becomes president +300

Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech -100

Israel wins the legal battle +400

A fascist doesn't become president +99999

Bitcoin's price changes by $40,000 +200

Retail real estate prices collapse +300

Retail real estate gets bailed out +600

Any once in a lifetime economic collapse +200

Any once in a lifetime weather event +200

US involvement in an African military conflict +300

Well see a coup or attempted coup in a EU member state.

Some German politician thats anti-us gets merced.

The newly created American army bases in Denmark lead to assassination(s) of one or more "left" organizers in Denmark. Also just regular army base bullshit.

A new disease starts spreading among cattle. The farmers resist all attempts at regulation, China is blamed.

I lose weight, but because of something bad happening.

A priceless piece of art is destroyed.

Lynetteholmen leads to drastic dieoff of the recently introduced cod-population in the Baltic.

China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.

Merger between steam and some other platform.

We'll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.

Every single moment of 2024 is going to be worse than 2023. So imagine 2023 again but worse and normie dipshits getting increasingly belligerent and unhinged when any of this is pointed out.

Cottage cheese-filled pineapples ala Marguerite Patten become a minor trend on Tiktok for a week.

George RR Martin finishes writing The Winds of Winter but the sole manuscript is stolen. the thief anonymously sells the book to the highest bidder, who turns out to be Martin Shkreli, buying it for 69 bitcoins. he burns the manuscript live on Twitch

Palestinian cat goes viral. Israel will try desperately to get an Israeli to get back the narrative which completely backfires with every embarrassing attempt.

Ukraine war will spread to Moldova, crashing the economy of the maldives.

Maybe in 1 year is too soon but building off the Chinese balloon story this year

Made in Mexico Chinese EVs start slowly getting sold in USA before the US can fully roll out new tariffs to stop them. Americans go batshit insane and start destroying any Chinese EV they see on the road. At least 1 person gets shot while inside one

gonna get into a fistfight thinking it's going to be cool like in yakuza and as it turns out hand to hand combat is not as cool as it is in yakuza

Russia attempts a large offensive, trying to end the war before spring. The army makes modest gains, then the offensive stalls again. The war continues by January 2025.

The war in Gaza continues being a meat-grinder with heavy Palestinian, mostly civilian losses and a slow pace of the Israeli offensive. Eventually, a ceasefire happens somewhere in late spring and the situation returns to the pre-October status quo.

A new round of unrest in Venezuela happens after the election.

Fascists win a bunch of European elections.

Some new climate-change related catastrophes happen in both the global north and south, causing unrest and migration in the most affected countries.

New temperature records and "hottest month in history" happen several times through the year.

Some old celebrity or person in position of power, say the pope, dies.

Trump gets blocked from the ballot in multiple states, causing him to drop out of the race and not endorse anyone. Kennedy gets over 10% of the vote. If Biden survives, he wins. Nevertheless, the turnout will drop.

The bourgeois economies remain afloat, stagnant and sickly, but no crisis yet.

Right wing terrorism continues to rear its ugly head.

The UK government doesn't survive until the 2025 election. The Tories go further right, but bootleg Tony Blair wins and changes nothing about the current policies of the United Kingdom... except give more money to cops.

China and Russia remain stable.

The left keeps shrinking.

Things continue to get worse

The Bell Riots will start in September

Trumps dies at the debate stage

Biden dies at his funeral

Garbage gets his username back and stops drinking

year of the linux desktop

Transnistrian international recognition

New Zealander Civil War breaks out. Peter Jackson is proclaimed dictator for life.

RFK Jr. wins 80% of the popular vote

Everyone gets more insane

Q true identity revealed

I'll still be alone

• Lenin awakens from his century long hibernation

• Alex Jones mocks me by continuing to live

• The unusual amount of Australia-related foreshadowing in my life pays off

Israel sees massive inflation from war time spending. The US will stabilize their currency by discretely buying and selling their currency. They will incentivize the private sector to do direct foreign investment. The US will see another inflation event towards the end of the year.

Fromsoft releases a bad game that everyone hates

America uses a nuke

Bibi publically executed (Israel still exists)

Fake news gets banned along with my account

One of the chapos dies

Brace gets a show on HBO

Biden wins and dies and Hillary (VP) becomes president

Neo nazis shoot down a passenger plane

It’s like 2023, but worse.

Dems successfully prevent trump from being a viable candidate and we get to see Jan 6 again, but probably more protracted and even more disorganized. The sicko in me wants to see what the hogs will do.

Fascists win elections and culture wars as usual, liberals become irrelevant, and we stay irrelevant only when someone to blame is being brought up.

Normies really REALLY love their fascism and will stick with it through thick and thin.