this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Free me from this flesh, brother

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In DnD it's because most undead are damned and tortured souls enslaved by dark magic to the bidding of their twisted masters.

The skellingtons are looking at you, the real you, the core of your very existence with their soul eyeballs. And they hate you, because you are alive, and they aren't just dead, they're being tortured every moment of their existence.

But, hey, tell me more about your perfect medieval civilization built on raising zombie field hands.

/Jokekilling

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It's a very simple matter 2 and maybe mind 3 effect, for simple commands and routines. No ghosts involved!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I'm not familiar with the modern rules. Can mages still go insane from levitating a Kleenex in front of normies?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You know how their jumble of bones pulls together when you get close? Their bones wanna do that with your bones, and the osteonetic attraction that pulls their bones together let's them know where your bones are, too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So all you would have to do to avoid this fate would be to pull out your own bones from your body, interesting...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And that's how you get slimes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

"Whoopsie, ah... I mean... success?"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Their bones are actually inert. Your bones just want to join their bones doing fuck all all day long. Their bones are doing your bones' bidding.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

The same way they're able to take human shape and move instead of sitting in a pile...

Shit, some of them talk

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's wet in you. They have to rescue your skeleton from drowning.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Your bones are wet in you."

Unpleasant. Mmh. No, no thank you.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How do they not just collapse into a pile of bones?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One could argue, that joints are part of the skeleton.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Cartilage isn't.

But, as always, the real answer is "a wizard did it". Skeletons don't just hop up and animate themselves.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Skeletons don't just hop up and animate themselves.

Tell me you are from US without saying you are from US, lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This wouldn't be nearly the first time I've said some stupid Americanism without realizing it, but mind telling me what it was at least?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your skeletons don't seem to rise from the ground. Common American problem, don't need to feel bad about it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Problem? I'd like to know what your raised skeletons are doing that makes them a positive on your community.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Stop being such a racist. They're part of the community like you and me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Well great great grandpa is a wonderful story teller for the kids and you wouldn't believe how big of an area on a field my second great aunt thirteen times removed can clear in one day.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Mine does, but I need an elaborate system of organic strings to make it work and an over powered processor.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So the ultimate counter to skeletons are octopuses.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Octopuses have beaks. Are beaks considered part of a skeleton?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Afaik beaks are more like nails, hoofs and antlers in composition.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nails, hooves, and rhino horn are all made of keratin; antlers are a little more complicated: https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/news-posts/horns-and-antlers-what-s-the-difference

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I could swear some movie or video game taught me re-animated deer skeletons can have antlers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

In video game logic it needs antlers to be a deer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn’t the proper plural term octopi?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Technically they're all "correct", just that octopodes is the most correct and coolest sounding

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Your skeleton is bragging so much about its cool meatsuit they want to destroy it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Nah your skeleton is held prisoner by your meatsuit. The other skeletons are just trying to liberate it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Skelekenesis

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

snotelek to snotelek communication

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

A dungeon suddenly becomes the corridors of the Nostromo. No matter where you hide, the skeletons can sense your BONES!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I keep my skeleton in line by occasionally breaking bones. Gotta make sure it knows who's boss.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Betrayel always comes from within.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Are skeletons working against you? A necromancer dissertation

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

They can feel it in their bones