It’s not a waste if its sole purpose for existing is to rot on porches. It’s just a bonus if you can squeeze out another use, like becoming an emergency room curiosity.

So almost nobody read the whole image?

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were travelling abroad and needed a place to sleep for the night. They stopped at a farm and asked the farmer if they could sleep there. The farmer said "Yes, you can. But all of you must promise not to have sex with my beautiful daughter." They all solemnly agreed and were shown to their room for the night.

One by one though, each of them was overcome by temptation and sneaked down the hall to farmer's daughter's bedroom to have their wicked way with her.

I'm the morning they came downstairs and were greeted by the farmer. "Good morning!" he said, "I hope you all slept well. Take a basket each and go out and pick something from my farm to eat for breakfast". Being very hungry from their travels they all eagerly went out to look for their favourite food.

The first to return was the Englishman. The farmer was waiting for him - with a loaded shotgun. "I know what you did last night!" shouted the farmer, pointing his gun at the Englishman. The Englishman threw his hands up in the air, dropping the basket of strawberries he'd picked for breakfast. "Bend over and put those strawberries up your arse and let that be a lesson to you!" The Englishman did as he was told and pushed the strawberries up his bum. Seeing that the farmer was satisfied the Englishman ran out the door and off into the distance.

Next to return was the Scotsman. "What did you pick for breakfast young man?" asked the farmer. "I picked carrots" answered the Scotsman. "Well put them up your arse you dirty bastard!" screamed the farmer, pulling out the shotgun "I know what you did last night!" "Please dont shoot me sir!" Cried the Scotsman, as he painfully pushed each of the carrots up his bum before making a break for it and running out of the house.

Last to return was the Irishman, carrying his basket on his back. "You dirty lying son of a bitch!" screamed the farmer "You had sex with my daughter last night!" "Now tell me what you picked for breakfast."

The Irishman heaved his basket onto the floor with a thud.

They both looked down at its contents.

"I picked a pumpkin sir."

I bet the inside of a pumpkin feels like... really really good.

Last year I placed two dozen or so pumpkins around my property and got up on the roof and started shootin with my AR until the neighbor called, claiming some maniac was on my roof shootin a gun so I went inside cuz that sounded pretty spooky smh can’t have nothin nice no more

complain about throwing a billion pumpkins into landfill

Order a billion tonnes of plastic shite off Temu which then breaks, and throw it into landfill

Fucking keep chucking the pumpkins, guys

If you know someone with chickens, give your pumpkins to them. The chickens love to eat the insides all the way to the edge of the rind. It is also supposed to be a natural dewormer.

Well that escalated quickly

Toasted pumpkin seeds:

Using running water seperate seeds from pumpkin guts. Soak them in salt water while you carve. Preheat and bake at 220C for 15-20 mins. Eat them whole.

I mean you could start by composting and not throwing into a landfill… many cities accept with leaf collection

I let the squirrels have at it, even giving them a hole to get the seeds. Then when it starts rotting into the compost can. I gotta have that pumpkin spice dirt.

Planter doesn't work very well, they shrivel and rot within a few weeks.

One of these things is ~~not like~~ more appealing than the others

Toss them in the woods, deer fuckin love pumpkin

How can I expand it to that size?

Time to ties some mini gourds into an anal bead 😔

At a medium pace.

It's disgraceful that we grow food to deliberately throw away.

Imagine if we just didn't grow them in the first place since clearly people don't want to eat them anyway...

Wait what? US population is 345 millions. How do you even celebrate Halloween that requires three pumpkins per person? Plenty of people don’t even have a porch.

Use it as a helmet at the Motocross!