this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I know it's a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he'd get flamed

[–] [email protected] 122 points 10 months ago (3 children)

If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we'd probably be seeing a pretty similar post

[–] [email protected] 52 points 10 months ago (9 children)

Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.

Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they're done.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

My ex would disagree as she'd leave hers lying out even when we had company over.

We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (9 children)

That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

For the 4th time (I'm an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don't know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It's painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.

Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

What in the bed bath and beyond is this shit

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Would you mind choosing a verb other than "use" so I know what in God's name I shouldn't be doing with conditioner?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If the context didn't provide, I meant jacking off. Paddling the pink canoe. Abusing the wicked stick. Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger. Shaking hands with the milkman. Boxing the one-eyed champ. Taking the self-guided tour.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (5 children)

If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

A shower dildo left there to be found? No.. that'd be fuckin weird too

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[–] [email protected] 124 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Stupid. This dude has the cleanest dick in the country.

"Eew this penis is too clean to go inside my body" that's what this whiny bitch sounds like.

No, they totally SHOULD leave. They are clearly too filthy for this CLEAN KING.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

"yeah baby you like my baby smooth dick?"

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 10 months ago

Hey, at least you can be sure it's clean.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He'd end up disappointed that her pussy doesn't bubble during sex, anyway.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Whoever your point of reference is, tell them to go to the doctor.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 60 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Because real men wait until marriage to masturbate

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean, it just never occured to me to drill a hole in a bar of soap, lotion and Palmela Handerson work just fine.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That's funny. We say Manuela in Spanish because "mano" means hand

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

That’s just a handhold so you don’t drop it

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

“It's a part of me and I can wash it however fast I like!"

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

What a terrible day to have eyes

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

How else are you suppose to clean it?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Look, if there’s a more subtle cock soap, I’m all ears.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If you're all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Perhaps he’s Ferengi?

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago

I didn't know that was an option.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Chill he was just blowing bubbles

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

He also knows Bubbles? Small world!

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

At least it's clean.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Soap is abrasive. His dick fucked up.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (5 children)

His penis will burn from that

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Innocent, I'm not that big.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Soap on a rope, but slipped off the rope?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How else are you gonna tie the rope to it?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

The butt cleaning rope?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

Yeah leave bitch, he clearly doesn't need you

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Poor dude probably just dug out the prize lol

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

There was a head out alright.

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