Ask Lemmy

Pi = 3.

Instant karma. Weighted based on intent. E.g. If CEO cuts benefits to improve his stock value, then his balls explode. If a driver accidentally cuts someone off but feels bad about it, a full mosquito hits the windshield.

Greed is removed from the list of possible emotions/personality traits.

Native Americans are immune to European diseases.

Cats speak french, except in any situation where they can be recorded or transcribed, or when a french speaker can hear them. They also aren't very good at speaking french, but it's impossible for anyone to know that.

All sentient beings have photographic memories and, through DNA, they can store and recall all of their previous ancestors' memories. All the way back to their oldest sentient ancestor.

A necessary requirement for higher intelligence is proper, functioning empathy. If you lack this, you're just... Incapable of intelligent thought beyond that of a particularly stupid dog

Being bad or evil is literally bad for your health.

The better you act, the better your health - great teeth, good muscle, low fat, high fitness, good looks, and longevity (to a point), no addiction or mental health issues, selfless with no crazy ego. Ie Mother Teresa looks like a supermodel!

Health can fluctuate based on behavior but it always drops 3x faster than it improves. So if you fuck around on your wife, your teeth go bad, or you start balding etc. cheat on your taxes, or lie maliciously (excl. good lies like Santa) you start to get fat n ugly.

If you're a miserable prick who fires staff, scams people, bribes, hires children for sweatshops or harms people just to increase profit or boost share price you get cancer. But if you help those people then you may be cured provided you handle it really well and undo all the damage.

You attack someone, pedal harmful drugs or hoard unnecessary wealth, you go blind/deaf until you earn it back, more than once and it becomes permanent, each time after that you lose a limb for good.

You intentionally harm or kill someone via murder, drink driving, rape etc then it's game over via a slow, long, painful debilitating disease that's contagious to anyone you like or care about, ensuring you die alone.

To help identify the good/bad, your gut instincts are 10,000x more powerful and obvious to warn you of the dangers or benefits of each choice.

No quantum mechanics. Things have concrete properties even when no one's watching, and they can all be observed at the same time. The universe is complex but understandable.

Also, P=NP and π is 3.33 repeating, just for the lols.

Karma now has a maximum of one hour turnaround time.

Base 36 counting becomes predominant.

0 1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 A B

C D E F G H

I J K L M N

O P Q R S T

U V W X Y Z

Also the point at which hundred changes over to thousand gets pushed back by a power, so 6KL2 is Sixty Kay Hundred Elty Two, while 8,A59G is Eight Thousand Ayty Five Hundred Ninety G. Same with the changeover to Millions, Billions, Trillions, etc.

Probably wouldn't change that much practically, but it'd make "Ten" a square that's also the product of two prime squares, and it's divisible by a lot more ways than the current number base, and it makes "One Thousand" the square of "One Hundred" the same way "One Hundred" is the square of "Ten" and that "One Million" is the square of "One Thousand."

No religion.

There should be at least 6 more ducks this time.

Nice try God, I'm not getting you out of this one.

I'd increase the speed of light.

Silphium was recently rediscovered so it's no longer considered extinct just highly endangered.

Aside from that, I would make it so that instead of having mental illness you would have magical powers.

Schizophrenic? Nope you just talk to the Dead. Adhd? Nope, you're an elemental wizard. Bipolar? Nope, you're either a healer or a necromancer. Depressed? Nope, you're just low on mana. (Major depression means that you're suffering from a curse) Psychotic? Nope, you're suffering a mana storm Narcissistic? Nope, you are an illusionist. Autistic? Nope, you're an enchanter.

Humans are neutrally buoyant in Earth's atmosphere

Planck’s constant isn’t.

Stupid thoughts become painful.

CO2 doesn't cause extra global warming above 300ppm

The angles in a triangle now add up to 179°.

One free wish for any and every person who achieves something truly outstanding for mankind as whole (only positive achievements).

Life isn't possible

gravity is now a personal choice

Positions of power are filled by people who are not interested in holding power.

If you eat a piece of cheese, you get to levitate for 10 seconds no more, no less. Doesn't matter the size of the cheese or the type (this includes lactose free).

Photons now have mass.

let's get rid of the inverse square law. falloff is now linear.

No sentient beings this time plz

being an asshole should be painful